Abandonment

Last edited: May 17, 2025, 6:33 PM

Thor asks “You said you have a better idea of what you want for your future. What is it you want?”. He is presenting me with another opportunity to say what he wants to hear, “I will devote myself only to you”.

With this statement as the goal for him, we engage in a little game of “guess what Thor wants to hear”:

Tue, Oct 2, 2018
You said you have a better idea of what you want for your future. What is it you want?
I want to be stable, and focus on one person.
Vague but positive at least
Ideally the end goal is to live with my significant other... I guess that would be obvious though, wouldn't it?
._.
Or rather I guess that's one of many end goals...
Well, I guess I wish you luck then. It's a good solid positive plan.

Take note of how Thor framed the conversation as benign and caring: “What is it you want?” Meanwhile, he is attempting to guide me closer to the answer he wants to hear. Thor is fixated on having me come to the conclusion myself because he knows the effect of self-persuasion, and that I am more likely to truly believe I want to be devoted to Thor if I come up with the answer by myself.


Tue, Oct 2, 2018
*nod...* uwu
At first I thought you meant with me but it's clear you didn't. I'm going to get back to coding.
I don't even know if you would want me after all of this.
I... like like you...
... Good luck with coding—

Thor disengages the conversation, punishing me by abandoning me and denying me conversation, engagement, and attention.

He blames me for being unclear, rather than asking them for clarity, because that would be guiding me too closely. So, rather than asking me, which would cause me to think it’s Thor’s desire (he wants me to believe it’s my own desire), Thor victimizes himself. By framing Lyric as responsible for Thor’s emotions, he further encourages me to say things that align with his expectations.

Overall, his behaviors continue to reinforce my dependence on his attention and approval. It also furthers his goal of having me say “the magic sentence”.


Annotated Transcript

Tue, Oct 2, 2018
Good morning Thor. uwu
Morning
How was sleep? :3
My cat Gadget was being 50 assholes
And running on my face
So I had to kick her out of the room
awh
Well your face isn't a treadmill (I think) so
he shouldn't be running on it :v
Yeah shes kind of being a butthole
that's why you should dog instead :3
Cat is fine too
ye I'm just teasing xP
I'm in a stupid mood today
I feel unproductive but happy
Whyfor?
Just how I woke up I guess ^^
Usually I feel a mix of happy and something else uwu
But it's not often I feel happy and unproductive at the same time
I feel... dumb. xP
Whats got you so happy anyhow?
Honestly I kinda woke up this way.
I felt like garbage for most of yesterday and today I guess I feel optimistic about the far future.
mmk
Well... How are you feeling today?
^^;
Not great!
Oh—...
Do you wanna talk about it?
What is there to talk about? The shit with us is bringing me down.
Oh...
... I'm sorry...
What are you even sorry about?
Being just
stupid
You asked me yesterday what the point of me wanting to erp with my friend was
I couldn't answer and I only wished I could explain
I think you were right to some degree about it being a furry thing with me
As embarrassing as it is, that's how it's been with me for a long time now
And as I'm growing up and maturing I'm starting to see that there really hasn't been a point to it
I want to stop for you and for myself.
It's irrational and I can see how it could be frustrating to try to deal with. That's what I'm sorry about.
You said I've been wishy washy and I think it's because I couldn't make a decision about it. I was really feeling a cognitive dissonance and I just didn't know what to think. I'm also sorry about that, and I think I have a better idea of what I want for my future.
All of that is very positive at least.
Sometimes it takes time for me to figure stuff out. Thank you for being relatively patient with me. uwu
You said you have a better idea of what you want for your future. What is it you want?
I want to be stable, and focus on one person.
Vague but positive at least
Ideally the end goal is to live with my significant other... I guess that would be obvious though, wouldn't it?
._.
Or rather I guess that's one of many end goals...
Well, I guess I wish you luck then. It's a good solid positive plan.
*nod...* uwu
At first I thought you meant with me but it's clear you didn't. I'm going to get back to coding.
I don't even know if you would want me after all of this.
I... like like you...
... Good luck with coding—